Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known. - Garrison Keillor
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. - Garrison Keillor
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn. - Garrison Keillor
To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich. - Garrison Keillor
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. - Garrison Keillor
Hurry up! Do it – get it done. You got work to do. Don’t put this off and don’t take the long view. Life is today and tomorrow, and if you are lucky, may be next week. - Garrison Keillor
When in doubt, look intelligent. - Garrison Keillor
A book is a gift you can open again and again. - Garrison Keillor
Just because we're fictional characters doesn't mean you can pick us up and move us anywhere you want.--the people of Lake Woebegon - Garrison Keillor
It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars. - Garrison Keillor
Writers are vaccuum cleaners who suck up other people's lives and weave them into stories like a sparrow builds a nest from scraps. - Garrison Keillor
It's better to be burnished with use than rusty with principle. - Garrison Keillor
The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life. - Garrison Keillor
A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded gun on your coffee table- There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about. - Garrison Keillor
A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing. - Garrison Keillor
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
That's the news from Lake Woebegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average. - Garrison Keillor
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it. - Garrison Keillor